Thursday, December 01, 2022

Broken runner

Broken Runner.

I've been itching to get out for a bivi run since Crete, wishing I'd taken a tarp with me or taken the massive fleece blanket from our accommodation out for a walk in the local hills.

Instead I packed a sleeping bag AND a quilt into my rucsac and headed into the Dreitch November Peak Moorlands.

I started by the cafe & Childrens play park in the valley. We had lunch 'inside the caf as I had ambitiously exposed my legs for the running so to sit around eating food, we sat in a room with warm fire.

I was Ok running through the park so I bravely got my feet wet at the stepping stones, knowing they would get dry again eventually - or if I got miserable enough I'd put on my waterproof Socks.

Even the heron looked soggy when I passed it. I taunted myself with a run past the nice warm pub then fields to the Stannington Road where it's pounding tarmac for a few hundred metres before branching off again onto a track then into farmers fields. Just as I was getting a bit too cool - on top of the moors running into the breeze - I bumped into a work colleague walking with her son. I slowed to a walk to talk to them until they turned off for home. I braved one more field before stopping to put my gloves and windproof on.

Half a mile later I concluded my legs were too cold and my hands needed something and sat on the pea-gravel driveway of the house at the end of the track to put on my knee warmers. I reached in my pocket and pulled out one lonely glove. Shit. At least I had my trusty marigolds so I put those on for a while.

The track continues to climb to a bench. By then I'd concluded the knee warmers were not going to stay up so I took a proper sit to add tights instead. They are the tights I normally sleep in so had to dig them out from the depths of my rucsac and in doing so found the other pair of thin gloves that I had packed to go underneath the marigolds. We were cooking! Along the farm track, up the hill to Ronkersley and down towards Bradfield but I turned off to head up towards open country as a black lab in the farm below had a woof at me.

Out of sight of the farm I took a bee-line along a fence and through a stalker's gate to follow the grousing line along a wall. My inner Canadian was relieved to be wearing hiker's orange whilst my inner Brit felt a tad too visible to the next farm up the valley so I hid behind the wall to make my way up. I turned my spot on in case I got shot.

The going was tussocky but relatively dry so I stopped for a while, out of the breeze in a grouse butt to get some rest and snack. It was squelchy in there so not at all tempting to pitch up early.

It wasn't a long rest. I had designs on making it to Fairholmes for early dinner before starting my run home, leaving myself as little as possible to do on Monday morning.

Braver out of sight of the farms again I stayed to the right of the wall but it was consistently soggy & difficult-going so I moved left, then back when I ran out of wall and was faced with a fence. I hadn't planned this part and had to dig the Garmin out to make sense of it. I've recently lost/expired my 0S Maps license so the boundary of open country wasn't easy to spot. I guessed and took a visual bearing to intersect with the corner of another path, the one I'd be slogging back up had I continued on my route instead of taking the stalker's gate. As soon as I set off it started to rain. For a moment I dreaded I'd lose my spot bearing in the mist but the cloud was high enough and I didn't need to get a compass out - just my coat. I was overjoyed to find I could pull my waterproof trousers on over my skort without feeling ruffled up & uncomfortable. Aside from the feeling of remoteness, it was a bit of a relief to get back on the path, though it was then a choice between going out of my way, or more tussock-hopping to continue in the planned direction. I was getting tired. I was happy to give up on the plan.

I carried on downhill to where the Peacocks live, crossed 2 roads and fields and was back into my faithful valley, womb-like, warm. I took a video at the bridge to record my joy. At this point I was still intending a bivi but not here, not right by the road.

Part way up the slope I realised I'd need the water to make my own dinner so I filtered some into one bottle then filled the filter bottle and set off again.

My next destination was headstone and I wanted to get there before dark. I had vague desires of setting up my bivi nearby but on the exposed moorland it wasn't going to be tonight. The weather was just getting wetter and wetter. My headstone photo was the last I took before my camera was packed into my waterproofs pocket. It was both too wet and too dark for this camera. Besides, it's not like there was going to be any sunset through the flat, grey cloud.

I retraced to the main path and soon my inquisitiveness to find out where that track went and my desire to traverse to Stanage via High Neb all crumpled into a desire to go home and behave like a normal person as I realised I needed to get out and put on my head torch before it was too dark to see.

• • •

I could have taken a much shorter route home. A distinct path led back down to the valley and would have cut off a massive corner for me. I n retrospect, this might have been a good idea as it led to golden leaved trees where there might have been some decent shelter at a good time of day to stop.

However, it felt too early to stop and there were some prospective spots on my planned route back which were speaking to me.

• • •

With the light dangling around my neck for now, I ran on up to the path that skirts the reservoir dyke and turned left towards home instead of right towards more adventure. It felt like a good decision, I mean I still had to work tomorrow. I'd not totally given up on the bivi idea and still kept an eye out for spots but everywhere was sodden and every step took me closer to civilisation

In a last flash of wildness, somewhere, the sun started to sink low enough that colour started to spread through the sky - somewhere far away. My cloud-free view was way, way to the South of West. If there hadn't been a hill in the way it would have been over Buxton, down to Shropshire. The gap in the clouds turned momentarily silver then fawny brown and mauve. I photographed it because it was the only sunset I had and my camera responded that it was definitely too dark to focus on anything. It made one attempt and then refused to take any further pictures, the sun had gone too far.

Not much later I turned my head torch on. The benches were all sodden and as I got closer and closer to the city, civilisation began to creep in.

• • •

The bridges over the dyke were concrete and closed off with fencing. Attractive-looking bomb holes had puddles in the bottom. Soon car lights were visible on the road at the end and the shelter with no roof was far from attractive.

I joined the road, now intent on heading home to the Waitrose pizza I put in the fridge last night. A happy cyclist called out a greeting as he whizzed past on the downhill but at least I was warm and wet, even if he would be home well before me.

When I reached the path home I decided not to run down the bridleway but take the top path for a change and because it's more remote. It all seemed too early for stopping but, you never know. When I heard the sound of the river next to me I was confused. I'd not been this way in ages and had forgotten how to get onto the top path. A dog barked at the head torch stumbling around by the river, talking to itself and backtracking until it found the path that routed up the side of the gritstone crag. The rock was dyed to the white of limestone - so drenched in dripping, silver lichen and sparkling in the LED torch light. I was soon back amongst the twigs and brown leaves.

There are a few bivi spots up here I've contemplated in the past but again I made excuses - too wet, too early, too overgrown, too close to the path. I investigated new spots which seemed buried deep in the trees but they were just on other paths - side-routes, dog-runs through the bracken. The seeds of the waitrose pizza were well and truly sewn.

In one last-ditch attempt I followed the dog tracks to caves that I had stumbled across in the summer. The one I found was no more than a wide crack in the ground and it was dripping wet. Nervous of falling into any more holes in the dark, I made my way back to the main path where my brain started to play tricks on me,foreshortening the route to believe I was nearly back until I remembered the next hurdles and how much further it was to go.

Sooner or later, "too soon to stop" turned into "dinnertime" and my body began to complain but the rain was persistent and even when it wasn't raining, I didn't want to stop to eat in case the rain started up again. Bivying wasn't an option as long as I was running along a 6 inch ledge 2/3 of the way up a precipitous slope.

Eventually my body protested at the big drop into the stream bed by the golf course. My stomach rumbled down the down hill, my brain crashed and took us on a scramble through the undergrowth before realising we'd missed the river crossing and had to backtrack then my legs all-but-refused to carry me back up the hill on the other side. I knew I'd need to stop soon.

• • •

I'd mostly dried off and it hadn't rained for a while but when a flat ledge appeared amongst some blackthorn bushes, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to test my tarp-pitching in trees without any stakes.

I snaked under the thorns, attached one third of the tarp to three tree points then crawled into the far corner to tension the whole thing out. One side flopped down and wafted in the breeze but there wasn't much breeze so it just made the whole thing much cosier. I'd never have slept with the fine, ultra-light tarp stretched out across black thorn but while I was awake I could keep an eye on it and I was really pleased I'd pitched it in no time. I dug out a knife and the lump of Saucisson I'd carried and as I sliced off a chunk of meat the heavens opened and I was dry and cosy in my little Den, texting TSK that I was heading home in a bit.

The rain didn't fall for long so I soon stuffed the tarp back in its bag, loaded up my sit mat and got moving as quickly as possible to pump blood back around my body - mostly to my hands - my fingers numb from handling a cold knife and fiddling with knots. After enough of a jogette to get the feeling back I gave up and walked the rest of the way home and at 8.30pm sat down to my pizza. At least I got the most out of the day - around 25 kms worth, despite having spent the best part of the daylight packing.

Lesson learned : thought I'd pack an extra quilt for sleep warmth but I think a coat would've been more useful for rest stops.

Saturday, November 19, 2022

Back in the puddle.

 Last weekend, racing triggered something in my brain.  Connections were re-made.  Having scoured every excuse not to go, I foundo utht e race was in my home town so I had to go.  Local club mates rode out to watch.  Fellow racrs and their dogs chatted and I bantered with strangers in the pits.  

It didn't stop there though.  I washed the bikes and the kit then we headed out for a walk to hunt for dinner.

 

On Monday, sure, I had a rest day but I used the drive to work to divert via the sports centre to tick off something that's been on my To Do list for a while - sort out my car park permit so I no longer have any excuses and have a swim to tell myself that I'll actually be OK to return to open water swimming.  Unfortunately, by the time my work-addled brain made it out of the office, the pool was actually closed but the parking permit got sorted anyway.  

On Tuesday I packed my bike bags with swimming kit and booked my swim - and this time made it to the changing rooms.  There was a lot to remember - not going in the water wearing my glasses was a start.  The ride to work was almost as wet and in the evening I left the office in similar conditions and dragged both my bike lock and laptop home so I could work on the train on the way to London on Wednesday where I walked between stations and accommodation as "recovery".  The recovery was sadly slowed down by an expectation to go drinking till the small hours.  My concession was to stay up, drink tea and not beer and make sure my female colleague actually went to bed instead of sitting on the stairs all night.

On Friday I recovered from the hikes between stations and worked from home.  I nearly lost the flow of my mental recovery but a walk into town to get my hair cut had me back on cloud 9 as I made my way through the autumn leaves in the park below our house.  Walking home in the dark I took the same route through the park, dipping across the grass in the shadows, remembering when some police told me not to walk alone there a night in case I got mugged.  Beats walking with the traffic, I'll take the incredibly low risk.  After lockdown and the struggle since last January, I feel a little more human and it's so nice to feel that way in November.  Usually this is my "down" time of year - less daylight, poor office conditions.  Maybe it's the racing, maybe it's the hormones (I upped my dose recently). It's scary to realise there are so many things that can sway mood and ability so hard and if you don't recognise them or try them you miss out on so much.

This morning it was time for my swim.  After re-discovering my love for wild swimming on holiday, I resolved to head back to swim your swim.  I booked.  I even made it almost on time (after a few minor navigational errors we won't speak of).  I thought I'd remember the way there - turns out not - but unlike many things in my life, it doesn't really matter if you're late.  

Friendly faces welcomed me.  Familiar faces had a chat.  I changed into my old wetsuit, regretting throwing my racing one in at the last minute - probably the smallest one I ever bought.  It was very snug on my post-lockdown, non racing body.  I thought, I have finally grown into it.  I used to struggle with them leaking.  They just weren't snug enough on my bony frame and allowed a constant flow of dilluting water to flow through them, no matter how small bought (I own three various sizes), stripping the heat away from me instead of excluding the water or at least trapping some warmed water against my skin.  

Just in case, I added a rash vest under the suit and neoprene gloves and boots, acknowledging that it wasn't going to be "like Crete".  

As I stood on the sipway, a skins (swimsuit only, no wetsuit) swimmer exited the water, pleased with herself for doing two loops and full of smiles.  It was just the push I needed.  We watched as the raindrops on the safety boat engine turned to steam then condensed into clouds in the cold air.

I guess the temperature differential affects how you feel about getting into the water.  There was no sharp sucking in of breath like in Crete.  I was getting into 10.5 degrees water from 11 degrees air, not 15degrees water from 23 degrees air.  As it soaked into my gloves and boots it was cold but not breathtaking.  I gradual seep went into places in my wetsuit but generally it seemed to stay away from my core.  I soon swam - might as well embrace it.  

As I pootled along in breast stroke, I found my neck was getting tired from pressing into my wetsuit closure.  I was a little concerned I couldn't keep that up for long and should probably accept that I needed to do crawl a bit.  I found my cold shock. The rest of my body was covered in some protective neoprene cover.  My face was not and I soon had an icecream headache, brain freeze.

Swimming crawl was OK but each of my gloves was now filled with a slosh of a few hundred grams of water.  I didn't get that in the pool and they were much more difficult to move above my head.  I reverted to breast stoke again for a while - more to calm the brain freeze than anything.  I was a bit panicky at the cold and had to just remind myself to be calm.  The old days of crawling out of the water a chattering mess came back to me but I was also enjoying myself immensely.  

Breast stroke was still uncomfortable so after a bit of faffing with my goggles to get them to seal properly, I buried my face again.  I could only manage 10 strokes at a time before the brain freeze set in again and reverting to breast stroke but things were passing at a good pace.  One lap wasn't enough so I carried on around.  

On the shoreline leg I noticed my breath forming clouds in the air just like on the boat, further out in the water.  A couple of coots were swimming in the shallows amongst the branches.  I wasn't just bird watching, I was with the beasts.

By the time I reached the penultimate buoy I was ready to get out.  Although I still wasn't cold, I soon would be, given the rate at which I was tiring and a little wave of nausea flooded over me to let me know it was time to stop.  I didn't even feel too cold, which really surprised me but I knew I would be if I carried onto another loop.  I buried my face in the water one last time and paddled towards the shore, trying not to look too urgent.  There really was no need to panic.  A few strokes of breast stroke then my face went back in to look out for the arrival of smooth sand and terra firma where I could eventually put my feet down, stand up and slowly sway back to the concrete slipway (no point in saying, "dry land" it was raining).

I grinned at Leon and muttered something about quitting while I was ahead.  That was silly.  I instantly started to shiver.  My Ursula Andres quickly became quivering wreck, though I've been in a worse state existing the water.  For the next 5 minutes I fooked about.  I tried to remove my wetsuit before my boots so, legs now tied together with neoprene, I sat down on the floor and used the ineffective hooks that formed my clawed, weak hands to remove the boots.  It took a while.  Finally I was sufficiently liberated to stand on the sit mat, get socks and trousers on (followed by my shoes - GET ME!) and then stare with dismay at the vest that I couldn't possibly get into without some breach of dignity.  Thankfully, no one was really watching.

The fastest way to warm up after a swim (so long as you're not too cold) is to walk, run or dance and get the body naturally warm.  The nicest (yet less effective) way is to drink a hot coffee - which I did, sitting on my mat on a bench and watching the coloured hats still bobbing about in the water.

Along with some chores on my way home it was a day-long round trip for a 15 minute swim but damn I was happy.  It left me the rest of the day to rinse and hang out my stuff and get ready for more adventures and I can't wait to go back next week.


Saturday, November 12, 2022

H is for Hawk, Hurting and Honesty

On recommendation I've been reading Helen Macdonald's book. It's probably not a good idea. It takes me back too often to a childhood surrounded by wildness and connections to the animal faunal world that I have long-since broken.

Building trust with a species different to our own. 

Spurred on by a delivery of new swim gear, inspired by my holiday, I got off the sofa away from my book.

Where was I going to use this stuff anyway? An island haven in a small, squirrelled away loch or tarn that exists only in my mind. A place where there's no reservoir signs, no angry fishermen or hikers to judge.

I went to the loo and reacquainted myself with the only beast in my life - a ridiculous cat that follows me to the bathroom because the only water she will drink comes from the bathroom sink - or worse - the toilet bowl. I fuss her while I pee then set off the shower, turning the sink tap up a little so we can share this short-lived experience together until she's had enough water and leaves through the bathroom door I left ajar for her. 

I want to go out for a run or a ride so I'm not really sure why I'm showering but I do know.  It's because I'm so rank, I really should and because it might make me feel better.  I don't really want to go out alone. Yet every work day this week I've marvelled at how I ever thought having a dog in our lives could be practical. Lie-ins where I'm avoiding the world for 5 minutes longer. Late nights in the office doing just one more task that I should have done in the day.

I closed the bathroom door to stop any more steam going in the house.

I tried on the swim clothes and only felt more hollow. I was trying to buy wildness? 

Sure, a good bike ride would sort me out - a bivi too but foolishly, in the week, I checked the cyclo­cross calendar, hoping that there would be a National trophy that I couldn't attend so I could go out for a bivi instead. To my dismay, the race was in Sheffield leaving me in no doubt I had to enter. At least I could ease my post covid body into something without too much expressed commitment. I mean, all I had to do was get my bike ready and that was pretty much completed in September. Anyway, a week (3 days) of road riding to work after 3 weeks off, has convinced me that covid killed my stamina.

I dressed for nothing more than a short run and went outside to empty the kitchen bin, convincing myself that, despite the balmy temperatures, I was under-dressed.  That will be Crete talking.

All throughout the sorry mess that was this morning, the urge persisted to wrap it all up on paper and post it out there that the week has been exhausting, leaving me to be a splattered mess without the will to do anything that in any way makes me feel better and instead sit around grumpily putting into words what it is that makes me sad. Maybe that's how I know I'm bad and putting it out there really does make it better.

Meanwhile my beast sits quietly on my lap and sleeps and occasionally baths. She's keeping my legs warm and I'm keeping her warm and for a while, everything is fine. 

Sunday, November 06, 2022

ARHANES. CRETE OCT / NOV 2022. 

Saturday / Sunday

It can be daunting arriving somewhere new late at night.  I'm rarely daunted but I needed a nice holiday. Doesn't everyone need a nice holiday? No one goes out in search of a shit holiday.

I left my tattered nerves in the security area at Manchester airport. Somehow we got through with all our belongings in tact, including a pair of knitting needles. We had short delays, missed the car hire shuttle bus so hiked the half km and even dealt well with Little Miss Hustle at the car hire centre who wanted to up-sell us everything from a convertible Fiat 500 to the excess insurance you already paid for because you *Need* a nice holiday.

"Car hire?", you say, scathing. We were away for a week. I needed easy. It was late. Bike hire was shut. I wasn't waiting for buses and they would never have arrived at 9pm.

I managed to drive in a foreign country while TSK navigated - incident free - all the way to our destination town. I wasn't worried about the driving. I've driven in France, Italy, Portugal, Romania, Sardegna but I'd no idea about Greek rules or drivers, despite the RAC's reassurances, and there were plenty of un-helmeted Moto riders to worry about. My eyes were glued to the road - and other road users - as TSK fired directions at me. Even if I'd had the chance to look at the scenery I'd have seen nothing but blackness. Perhaps a distant twinkle of a mountain monastery.Crete has dark skies nailed.

• • •

We dropped of the A-road into the town where we were staying at about 10pm. Lads buzzed about on motos and dirt bikes and hung around in packs outside bars. I was pretty nervous. We reached the one way system. I needed to do a 3 point turn without hitting any of the random pot vases lining the road sides. It was too close for comfort. I had to find reverse in a car I'd had for 40 minutes. It was the first time we'd gone backwards. Other motorists waited patiently. 

 

Finally we drove up the road past "our house". I thought there was parking further up but we started to get quite far away and plenty of others were parked tightly on the roadside. We did another turn in a wide bit and parked like locals - wheels tight into the rock wall, wing mirrors folded in. Of course you kicked your passenger out before you parked. Cats seemed to crawl from the very fabric of buildings - some clearly well looked after, that slunk back to their homes. Others were scraggy and hung around long enough to ascertain whether you have food to share but were on tenterhooks, ready to skedaddle at the first sign of approach.

It's always nice when the key code at the Air bnb works. We were indoors - not particularly warm but ours - for one week only.

Bags dropped we went out in search of dinner - at 1030 on a Saturday evening.

As well as the cats we now noticed the dogs - completely randomly sprawled. Some collared, others not. Belonging to someone - probably.

It took us 3 walks by the main square, hedging our bets we'd find something more than a Taverna open. The only place that still seemed to be serving food was absolutely banging and a hot house of local activity. In fact I got the distinct impression that if we went in we'd be gatecrashing Grama's 80th. Finally we settled on a pizza restaurant - well, it was skantily a takeaway with tables. We were served by a friendly waiter who brought great English to the table. Dad stretched dough while mum prepped food out the back. 3 sons served, lounged or scooted pizzas in boxes around the town. We propped ourselves against the wall with some cold pop and tried not to fall asleep. The whole thing had an air of endurance sport about it, desperately trying to down your dinner at 10pm, hoping you can get a box to take the leftovers.  Complete mental annihilation.

As I tried to eat my pizza crusts, the immaculately turned out late-teens girls from the next table went to the counter to pay. The boys smiled coyly. Glances were exchanged. By this time of year they were ensconced in leather jackets as we looked on, sitting near the door in thin trousers and just the one long sleeved top.

The least handsome boy caught the eye of the least comfortable girl. She was on my wavelength. While her friends wore biker jackets, her leather was best described as a 'coat' and was more "50's nan" than "biker chick" Still, they had a spark.

The kids left, we got our pizza box and gripped it tightly as we threaded home through the bezzing motos and stray animals.

• • •

Our bellies full and we hovered in the no-mans land between exhaustion and no-exercise with too much excitement on the side. At 4am I got up to eat more pizza then nearly fell asleep on the downstairs sofa. Back in bed it was too warm but I managed another 4 sound hours sleep, getting up at 8 to tackle the next foodie challenge.

Stepping outside in daylight the whole place was less daunting. Gone were the young kids on motos. The streets were lined with wrinkled old men with fabulous moustaches who nodded respectfully in recognition. Much to our relief the bakery was open and, almost purely by accident, we ate spinach* pastries for breakfast washed down with almond cream pies and coffee.

*We thought she said "Spanish" & decided Chorizo was a very acceptable breakfast.

As we feasted we watched a man clutching handfuls of windscreen wipers being beckoned by an older "customer" to his truck. The guy tried a few out before settling then turned and called out loud in the street to pedal his wares. Another small car bounced through the carpark potholes eager to get his own rear wiper replaced. Since it is missing from our hire car too we wondered if it was worth beckoning the windscreen wiper man ourselves. We wondered how much of Crete's black market economy is centred on the theft and resale of windscreen wipers.

• • •

With our bellies actually filled and more than we bargained for, we wobbled home, still hoping to find more fresh produce which wasn't otherwise committed to a baked product.

A pickup truck drove by with an Alsatian dog on board. It was tied on because it picked a fight with every other dog in the village. Two small dogs ran around the tyres of the pickup as it threaded through the tiny streets. They yapped and the Alsatian hollered and snapped his salivating teeth as the little dogs chided "come down here and say that; haha you can't".

The feral cats of the square continued about their business of cleaning assholes and basking in the sun.

• • •

We walked a loop of the old town in hope of finding an open shop. We found ourselves in streets where real people actually live and tend their gardens of lemons, lime, clementines, pomegranate and exquisite flowers spitting trumpets of colour and tissue papers of white down the sides of houses and over carports. 





We got wonderfully lost in the murals and found more cats. The call to prayer rang out from the churches and we wiggled our way home. We'd already scaled 1/3 the elevation of the mountain we were planning to climb today but we were on the wrong side of the valley.

• • •

Without any new fresh food, we returned to the bakery to get sandwiches. The language barrier got us turkey sandwiches, not olive & feta, and we got that on "black" bread (wholegrain), which is - obviously - the opposite of "white".

A short tour through one of the few construction sites and we joined the Grand Route (footpath) 4 which crosses Crete E-W. At first we passed genuine roadside olive trees, threaded our way past the pressing farm, then Olive groves and a few farmed plots growing more citrus and pears as well as keeping goats or geese.







Then a sign took us away from the concreted track and onto (from me) "ooh a real path". For the next hour we scrambled over limestone lumps and bits of scree - all loosely held together by brush, spiny plants, miniature holly, sage and plenty of things we couldn't ID. As I over balanced while trying to pick up some litter I soon realised you can't just catch yourself in the undergrowth here - the undergrowth bites back with spines. Some just scratch, others embed themselves in your skin and refuse to leave.

We were horrified to find others were following. A blonde lady refused to pass us no matter how long I spent staring at Eagles with my binoculars. There were 2 others somewhere behind us.

As we topped out onto one of the mountain" roads" (gravel), I had my wobble. I staggered up onto the road like I'd just summited a 6ft heap of 40% dust and scree. Which I had. Not sure what everyone else's excuse was but they were making that idle roadway look awfully tricky.

We gained a Belgian teammate for awhile before he scrambled off along the ridge intent on "summitting". We took the time to visit the monastery, photograph and go inside. 



 

Next up on the ridge walk was the Minoan Sanctuary as we threaded our way between families picnicing and tour guides. It was locked to visitors so we skirted around it, despite the illegally trampled rusty fence and peered in from the rundown weather station/ transmitter station then continued along the ridge and the GR path. At some point we went off route. At some point I thought I could see tracks on the map (they were contours). Oh how we chuckled to ourselves. You don't always have to go where they tell you to. Ha!







On the map we had a lovely rolling slope down to the route at the end of the ridge. As is often the way, the terrain was very different.

It started to go wrong really when we realised we were following goat tracks and then we realised the goats were coming towards us because they had run out of ways to get down the hill.

After a bit too much scouting about between limestone crags and bushwhacking the spikiest undergrowth known to man and the hardest scrambling I've done since the 90's, I had a major panic as the weather suddenly turned the light levels down a notch.

Paranoid we still had a long way to go, even when we got to the path, I had sudden visions of us either fumbling about in the darkness or falling off a crag to be ripped to ribbons by Greece's equivalent of a hawthorn bush.

We spent what seemed like an eternity back-scrambling out of the gorse and scrub forest to finally set eyes on the path 100m downhill of us AND with a clear line to get to it. Once on it we marvelled at how a good bit of getting lost and misadventure is just the ticket to turn a sedentary everyday accessible ramble into an" Ahhh isn't this nice?"

As I walked down that slope I thought about the man with the shouty Alsatian dog in his truck. About how cool he thought it would be to have a dog he could keep in the back of his pickup. About how wrong he was. Our GR route brought us back to the nice quiet sedentary road from where we watched eagles some more and emptied the grit from our shoes.  Farm workers passed in their trucks, they seemed to be checking we were OK and waved happily as we munched on snacks before the descent to town.

On our way over the hill, a man was welcomed home by 5 cats and his dog who was busy trying its best (getting close) to leap over the 7ft gate at the property.  Just as we'd let our guard down, I had a stand-off with a female dog as she saw us off her property and I defended my puppy (Tsk). We backed away. I tooled up my water bottle to at least be armed with something. There was no further trouble.

When we got back to town it was a different place - 3 or 4 different restaurants were open throughout. We'd already stocked up so passed through in awe. From couples up to big family dinners. The place was alive! Men discretely fed ham to the ferral cats who sat patiently (or tapped a gentle reminder)

Dogs sat tethered to their owners wrist while the town dogs begged for something special, now turning their nose up at the bread scraps they'd been given. They knew something better was available.

Monday 

After our first all-day hike we settled on a beach day to recharge the batteries. A poor level of research led us to spend many hours traversing a mountain pass which only led to a dirt track that our car could not handle and a dusty, rocky bowl. It was all very nice but our legs were not good for the 12km return hike from where we felt the need to abandon the Fiat Panda. It was not the high-clearance 4WD version but the woosy city hybrid version. I abandoned it in the middle of the dirt road and got out to - at least - check that we had an inflated spare tyre so I could drive over the rocks instead of risking ripping off the exhaust with them. At that exact moment, a cement truck appeared. We moved out of the way then agreed on a 3 point turn to head back to tarmac roads where our rental agreement would permit recovery, at least. At the top of the mountain pass we parked by a chapel, sat in the Lee of the stone wall and picnic'd on our lunch like a couple of old biddies.  At least we got out of the car.

It was 2pm by the time we reached Tsoutsouros. We parked in an empty carpark and walked straight to the village harbour where a beach of grey sand offered olive tree shade and modesty changing facilities. My modesty was protected from an old man walking by with a cane and two guys driving by in a pickup more concerned by getting to their boat in the harbour than some random English couple on the beach in November. 


 

The sea was chilly to the skin but pleasantly so. After a bit of adaptation and faffing with sunglasses and jewellery I did a few pleasant laps of the bay and was amused by sea urchins bobbing and waving with the flow of the ocean. I've only ever seen the dried carcasses of their shells in Scotland.  We stayed a while to dry off then walked the length of the village. 

One leathery old man was swimming further along. A few workmen hung around. The big hotel seemed closed except for a few end-of-season staff or possibly, its owners. We holed up at the only open restaurant for a coffee and watched the cats prowl for food and squabble over begging rights at the tables. 

They were all strays and inapproachable. After our coffee I had to go back in the sea for more. I was only moderately put off by discovering the Sheltered spot where all the coke cans and Fanta bottles collect alongside waterlogged planks of wood. I did a bit of front crawl then, not finding any new wildlife to look at, did a tour of the harbour wall on foot before leaving the town with more cats than people. All that was left was the long, mountainous drive home.

Tuesday

On Tuesday we set off for a hike. It was 10km, I didn't realise it was fairly easy. It passed a local archaeological site which we would later discover to be of quite some significance for Greece, not just Crete. It was fenced off - though not completely impenetrable. We were more interested in the modern forest of conifers offering plenty of glorious shade and for about 20 minutes we walked someone else's tidy, collared, well-behaved dogs around the forest paths.  They stopped for a pet, then trundled along with us for some time. They disappeared after we left the parking lot next to a big house. They either live at the house or the carpark, subsiding on tourist picnics. Our route took us on a tour of olive groves and vineyards where we sat amongst the scrub on an olive grove access track and consumed our lunch under the watchful eye of an eagle which soared overhead. 



Our view was of our village to the North and Irakleon in the South.  We nestled in the undergrowth to avoid the breeze that would have a skantily-clad English hiker shivering after a while, no matter how much they welcomed the same breeze while on the move. 

We hauled back up through the terraces only to find I had confused a fenceline on the map for a path. Instead we picked through the olive groves, bee hives and carob pods to find our out route to re-trace back to the village. 

It was a short day, a wonderfully short day which in retrospect was much needed. We ate dessicated pineapple overlooking ancient Greek wells then dropped into the village for some modern Greek coffee. 

Rouvas Gorge 2/11

It was supposed to be a beach day after yesterday's hike but yesterday's hike would only have been a strenuous run. As a hike it was a bit mediocre. Done by 3pm, we had to head out again later for a walk around the village which turned into dinner, accompanied by two rounds of divine Feta cheese the size of supermarket Camembert. It was a restless night of cheese uneasiness so we'd had a bit of a lie in.

I knew a beach day wasn't going to cut my thirst for exercise and a damn good adventure in the high mountains.

We packed up our lunch and wobbled on wiggly lanes through olive groves onto the South of the island, then West, then started to climb back inland to Zoros where a nice little cafe tempted us in for a coffee top up and pancake for second breakfast. Our next stop was the carpark for the gorge walk where we were the only customers except for a Lada 4x4 which had become part of the local flora, it had been there so long.

We set off up the way marked path. The only real navigational challenge being to negotiate our route through the JCB and tree surgeon re-working the path out of the Gorge following recent landslides. This purposefully avoided a particularly bouldered steep section, that we would be pleased to have avoided, later on.



At these low levels there was a gentle trickle of water in the gorge though it mostly seemed to come from a water overflow pipe from the hotel near the bottom and numerous "accidental" fractures in a catenary of irrigation pipes that hung from any available wall, boulder or tree lining the gorge. The higher we proceeded up the gorge the fewer pipes and fewer leak points though it didn't feel like water would be a problem, we were both carrying plenty.

After the landslide, The path soon rejoined the gorge. Temperatures were starting to peak but between sections of steep walking over a rocky, exposed river bed we were treated to paths up through oak and other relatively water-starved trees like Eucalyptus, Cretan maple and random spiny things.

Their shade was welcome and reaching out to touch their boughs conducted the heat away from hot, swollen hands. Just before I completely expired I found us a shaded spot to sit and alongside was a water trough filled with clear water. Sure there were maple leaves settled in the bottom and a thoughtless poo on a nearby rock but I soaked our hats which gave us both some cooling and I set off with small rivulets of water coursing down my back.

Beyond this point of tranquillity, the rush started. We passed - or were passed by - Americans, French, Germans, Dutch, Greek and Triathletes. Our secret get away had become a little busy. The path took another turn out of the gorge avoiding 30-60ft high vertical/overhanging limestone cliffs stuffed in between with boulders the size of SUVs and terraced houses. Instead we climbed a 6 inch wide footpath up the hillside where "safety" barriers were intermittent. At one point they gave up and built a bench on the inside curve of the path where a family of Greeks were taking a rest, causing us to teeter by on the edge of the slope as we all greeted eachother gaily, like it was no problem.

Andrew dreamed of a cooling breeze on top of the mountain and I promised him there was a full forest to enjoy then qualified that with "according to the map". I had no idea how forest-like it would be. 





 

Soon enough the breeze started and we cooled down a little as the path clawed up the dry river bed and crossed over what would be cascading boulders and waterfalls in a succession of wooden bridges - all fabricated from local materials on the surface but supported underneath with more rugged steel I-beams.

I realised it was 1:30 and, despite our 11am calorie loading, it was probably best to eat. Right on time a stone wall in the shade offered a comfortable seat to rest our feet and eat half our lunch.

Back on the trail we were climbing less now. Kms clicked by on the watch. It felt like hours to reach 3.25km and then we reached 5 km in no time. Route markers on trees talked of 25km distances, I kept quiet - knowing that our planned route was 20km, although I hoped to cut it shorter if we needed to.

Eventually some gritty, cloudy puddles appeared then trickling water with no apparent source led us to a fully equipped picnic area. We went off route to walk around it, marvelling at our good choices to visit this place in the off-season and imagining every one of the 50-ish picnic tables occupied by families and squealing infants.



Back at the Refuge we passed the only other tourist family left on the hill and checked out the Info-board which explained why the gorge is a Unesco protected heritage park and why some dead-looking twigs were protected by construction rebar, supporting tiny chicken-wire cages. Greek orchids. Clearly very much in the off season.

We set off along my mapped route. Rather than retrace our steps I'd plotted our way over to the Euro 4 route which Traverses Crete end-to-end - future life goals. I looked around me at the landscape, desperately trying to remember what I had in store for me/us. Although the refuge was at the top of the gorge, the forest plateau was only atop a minor blip of a hillock surrounded by a much larger cauldera. A ring of Mountaintops surrounded us about 500m above. I didn't 'actually'? Did I? I was open, honest- "knowing me, I probably routed us up that" I said, pointing at the biggest one in our general direction of travel. We agreed to go take a look but started off by completing our forest route before picking off on the new path.


 

I was relieved we'd checked the refuge - not that we had enough warm clothes or food for a comfy night there. But it was a potential retreat point that would keep us alive over night.

Our new path immediately started picking its way up the spine of one of the other minor hills in the cauldera. After a brief ad-lib with the garmin across deep beds of acorns that made feet scatter, we finally found the E4 and a series of useful stone cairns. The surface turned into chossy rock and the trees got thinner then non-existent as we emerged from the protected forest onto open mountain slopes. Three things happened at once:

I checked my watch. 3pm. We'd left the refuge at 2:45pm. No matter what the distance to go on the Garmin, we couldn't make it to the top of "that thing" and down an unknown route before dark. In fact, I was dubious we'd make the top before sunset.

Andrew caught me up, huffing and sigh-ing and I unromantically proffered a passive-aggressive "Do you want to go down?". Terrified by this outpouring of affection he satisfied himself that things were about to get easier since the apparent "line" involved a rambling ridgeline and then a descent.


 

The ridgeline now in view sported an array of buildings from farm to shepherds hut to chapel. We had absolutely no idea where the rest of the route would go but agreed to get as far as the buildings and assess because anything was preferable to the scree run down steep gravel covered with acorns and back the way we'd come.

The E4 skirted around the mountain farm rubble patch in the back garden. Goats bleated at us as we passed, hoping for hay.

Next we passed the hut. 2 doors had locks but the third had a key in it. I peered in the window. The tidy made bed, food at the table & coat hanging on a hook made me feel very guilty for prying.The little chapel seemed to be accessed via the track we were on but we could not see the track leading away from it. I racked my brains back to the October evening when I sat in my centrally heated house plotting apparent short-cuts between mountain roads to get us off the hill the most direct way. Please don't tell me I'd done this at 4000ft.

We still didn't fancy backtracking but at least we were now at the point of inflexion where my route finally took a turn South before eventually wiggling its way down the hillside. But which hillside? We still didn't know. What we did know is, at least it wasn't going to go up "that thing".

• • •

I let myself forget the route and actually enjoy the mountain - just for one moment - I mean it was exactly what we'd come here for and we'd finally got away from the crowds. If, by crowds, you mean 15 or so like-minded people.

We moved through the farm's goat pens. Pungent smelling and unpleasant until you accept the smell as something close to tasty tasty cheese.

I photographed the cauldera then got back to the business of worrying where the route went interspersed with worrying about time versus distance to travel.

• • •

Finally I got it through to myself that the longer I spent second guessing, the longer it would take to descend.

While this sounds like I didn't have a clue about map reading lets be clear, the number of curves and escarpments and bluffs in the caldera made it nearly impossible to tell which face was which on the map and steepness combined with cypress tree-cover made it impossible to see clear lines on the hillside. Only by going there would we find out and we reckoned we had enough head torch to get down either way.

We continued onwards past the farm, starting to descend now at a roadway rate of around 3%. Goats feeding on scrub above us threatened to dislodge boulders and scree down on us from above when they became alarmed. It was best not to stand next to the wall of rock at the roadside. Our trek was harmonised to the clunk of animal bells.

• • •

When we approached the chapel we were relieved to find it nestled beneath the track and the track continued beyond. It was here that the map markings turned to "road" albeit Cretan roads (sketchy gravel). 


 

I boldly suggested we would be down before dark. Although our first steep uphill 5k took us 3 hours, surely we could do 15k down in 3 hours before 6 pm. Should be good on a 5:30 sunset.

Past the final ridge building we continued to speculate what direction our route took. We were rapidly running out of hillside with nothing but steep valley walls ahead and to our right and a precipitous drop to our left. I opened up the prospect that, although we weren't going to summit the cauldera, we may well be about to climb out over the saddle of its rim, though deep down we hoped not.

We tried to pick out lines on the opposite wall but all of them looked like goat tracks.

To my relief, by the time we arrived at this death wall we had reached the first of many switchbacks but they went upwards, not down. Well, at least we knew how we were getting out of here and the switch backs at least meant we could maintain a good steady marching pace with which to eat through the remaining 12 Kms. We switched back about 5 times until we eventually emerged from the trees to a moonscape. Any remaining greenery was wild and wind blasted and very spiny. The Libyan sea sparkled silver ahead, surrounded by Crete headlands and a large Island nestled in the impending sunset.






 

Water storage and irrigation infras­tructure gave us hope that the road would be good all the way down. Indeed, after a few switchbacks, the first working farm appeared and while we cut through the goat yard track, the switchback was concreted to make it vehicle-friendly. We called them out as concrete corners and Tsk strode them out whilst I jogged them to mix things up a bit.

• • •

Despite our plans to put on coats or jumpers for the downhill (we caved in much earlier on the way up to the ridge) we started to warm up rapidly. We were descending fast into warmer air and were back in full sun even though it was on its way to the sea.

I had hoped we'd be able to shortcut some of the switchbacks but any weak lines had already been exploited by goats and turned into gravel chutes. Everything else was high cliffs, boulders, trees or spiky brush. My last hopes to cut the journey short were a couple of switchbacks around 150m from the gorge walk up.

We had been promising ourselves the second half of our lunch on the way down. At close to 5pm, Tsk got excited when he saw a concrete water tank with 3 and 4inch flanges sticking out the top and hallucinated a picnic area with benches. Just as his disappointment dropped as he shared his vision with me, I noticed a 1×4 planed plank of wood nailed to a tree which piqued my interest. Sure enough, behind the tree was a classic greek picnic area. Made from polished flat rock and cemented into benches and tables, they are paradise. We took off our shoes, put our feet up on the table and stared at the sun continuing its trajectory towards the sea.

"How far back? Tsk asked. It was perfect timing. I was hoping he'd forgotten my earlier admission there were 15 kms to go and now I could happily report there were less than 10km. In fact 9.75. He seemed most happy to learn that we were still on my plotted route and I had not just been ad-libbing the last 5km.  He trusts sofa-me more than I do.

When we got moving again, I was finally able to let go my fears of being caught out in the dark in a foreign land and settle into my long distance mode of enjoying the best and quietest part of the day. Reminding myself that 20hm hikes are made up of plenty of surprises - not just the whiz bang moments you came for but the seemingly never ending trudge of either getting there, or getting back home again.

We left our roadside comfort and skipped back into the forest, absorbing ourselves in the pinkening sky and the aromas of ponderosa pine, sage and goat. The only greek tragedy was that the sun did not dip into the sea but merely disappeared behind the headland leaving us with a dramatic melange of orange and purple sky. As we approached farm territory in the dark the dogs started barking leaving us both with the fight or flight response to have a wee and tool-up. Having been "seen off" by a pack of unruly loose farm dogs earlier in the week, neither of us had any intention of doing so in the dark.

TSK carried his stick. I found one with a knot about 5 inches from the end which acted as a great handhold for a walking stick. We delayed putting on head torches as the afterglow of the sunset was enough to hike by and the half-moon soon took over as a perfectly acceptable light source give-or-take the occasional stumble over loose rocks when walking in the shadow of an olive tree The walking stick was put to good use as a walking stick but thankfully all of the dogs were fenced-in.

The last task of the day was a bit of foraging. TSK promised mushroom & mountain sage risotto for tea and damit he was going to deliver. By the light on his phone he harvested a handful of sage & I had the honour of carrying the aroma down the rest of the descent in my easy-pocket. My one remaining concern was a drunken wobbly line on the garmin which I interpreted as "the bit I made up" on the computer using an obvious track on google maps that did not obviously translate as an access route on real maps.

Once we hit the "residential" road of glorious tarmac, my wiggly line turned into "Service Road". It clearly was a gated driveway and we decided not to bother. A recalculation gave us 1. 5km more trek along pristine tarmac - nice but dull - before resuming the Route National which gravelled us back towards the hotel.

Our head torch (the one that was accessible) went on for all of 10 minutes before the bright lights of expensive mountain properties took us back to the carpark in its original state, one rubbishy Lada 4x4 and a slightly dusty Centauro hire car.  I'd followed the trip advisor review not to park in the shade as the goats will use your car to access the trees so we were relieved to find there were no hoofprints on the roof.

The stick went in the footwell behind the drivers seat in case I needed it the next day.

The high-sugar foods came out in order to get us home with some level of alertness for the drive through the olive groves.

Thursday.

The day started with the inevitable yet unpredictable arrival of 2 coach tours to our village.  Dutch and American tourists talked at by their guides while 50% of them looked bored and we felt privileged to be doing our own thing, simple - shopping in the local economy & interacting (if somewhat badly) with local people.

• • •

Our guidebook for Crete is from 2000, when I had a cursory thought about visiting Greece. All prices are in dr and obviously very out­dated but I expected principals to be similar. Our second beach experience was based on finding something more spectacular to goggle at. I had visions of coral reefs, angel fish and such. We headed for the rocky shores around Elounde fuelled by the peninsular and the promise (for Tsk) of a slightly more vibrant village life than Monday's excursion to Tsoutsouros.  After a long unenjoyable motorway drive then a re-trace along the coast (we missed the mountain road and had to trundle uncomfortably behind a police car for 40km) we parked out of town then skipped past town in search of crystal blue waters.

• • •

Lunch was consumed en route as my legs refused to co-operate further following yesterday's exertions. Even after eating, the small hill over the peninsular was a solid effort, fuelled only by the promise of sand as an easier way to access the water compared to the solid and spiky volcanic coastal rocks. We followed the local's trail to the sandy beach. As we timed our arrival for about 1pm we couldn't get in the water fast enough and left our kit in the shade. It took all of a couple of minutes for me to commit to a swim. When I did my face went full in where I checked on the fish. Telltale cramp in my feet had me back in the shallows and out of the water but it didn't take much sitting out in the sun for me to be ready to go back in. 

This time I was ready for a swim out and back across the bay in deeper parts. It was an absolute pleasure. Clear views of the bottom and crystalline fish with iridescent fins or stripy bodies. It was not, by any stretch of the imagination, a coral reef, or teeming with life (more pottering) but it was pleasant. I spent enough time in the water to get proper cold then relocated us onto finer sand to bask dry in the sun and finish lunch.

Even with a change into dry clothes the sun was insufficient to warm me up. We snacked and watched kids playing, then beat a retreat to check out the church. 


 

There was bird watching and more sitting as I intermittently re-heated and over-heated.

Back in the town we were grumpily refused a coffee so beat a hasty retreat, reserving judgement on this holiday resort. Instead we found the mountain road back. A few switchbacks led us to a "traditional" aka run-down mountain village where we stumbled on another more open-looking taverna. In the interests of international relations, I added a modesty top to my bra-less swimmers dress. Still the leathered old ladies glared at us and the middle-aged (presumably) owner rocked back & forth in his chair laughing - commenting (presumably) drunkenly. Thankfully he dispatched the younger chap to serve us coffee in pidgin English with the added bonus I got a cold brew and we were dispatched with 2 ice cold bottles of water. That is hospitality. We sat outside talking amongst ourselves, backs to what-might-have-been staring then left them to talk openly about us - presumably for the rest of the day, if not the whole week.

The rest of the day passed without comment - the briefest of mountain experiences inevitably blitzing the tourist pazzaz, yet again.

Finale

My thirst for salt water and mountains sated, on Friday I declared it a rest day.  My ageing body needed one.  Following a few hours reading and crafting, I realised what day it was - our last full day.  I instantly rued "wasting" it but in equal measure, continued to be thankful of the rest.  In honour of it being our last day we did a lap of the village along lanes we'd not used before in search of a waterfall.  If by waterfall you mean a trickling stream, then we were successful.  We had a nice little trespass into a vineyard and nicked the odd grape or two but otherwise it was leisurely, easy and mainly involved me photographing and sniffing the undergrowth.  We ate out and as rest days go it was a roaring success.

On Saturday we returned to the airport, parked completely illegally outside it in the bus lane with everyone else while TSK dropped off left-luggage then got rid of our hire car at the rental shop and headed into town for the day.  If anyone's reading this and thinking of a Crete holiday with a late flight out of Irakleon - do yourself a favour and ditch the city.  Head to the big island museum of Crete and spend the day in there.  The city's selling points leave little to be desired.  I've seen bigger fountains in my local park and the old zoo park site has been converted into a carpark and construction site.  A new kind of chimpanzee now inhabits the monkey sanctuary.







 

The highlights were attending the harbour and looking through the glassy water to see the underside of the boats through the still clear water and the ice cream consumed next to said-fountain.  The harbour walls museum contained many replicas, some stone cannon balls, cannons and a lot of Civil Engineering history which is easily tired of.  The 12km walk was, however a good precedent for getting on a plane and sleeping uncomfortably for 2 hours.  I'm back to my comparisons with ultra racing.