Into my 50's

I made no secret of turning 50.  I'm pretty proud to have got this far, to be honest, and I'm no longer upset about what the ageing process has done to me.  I remain secretly suspicious I'm just slowly dying of something noxious but aren't we all just slowly dying?  So might as well have fun while that's going on.

Usually I hate Christmases at home.  After the initial pizazz of my birthday, I have to race around sorting presents and buying food.  It's a week where I can't spend any money because everything is over-priced. 

I tried to make this year different, be organised in time for my birthday but I failed (as usual) and ended up close to breaking point this week.  In parallel, I've been reaching out to my adventurous side, to try and achieve more, get back closer to nature... and I've failed.  I'm more tired.  I'm running out of steam climbing up the hill at the side of the valley on easy walks and am snapping at colleagues because they're just asking too much of me at year-end.  Today I just sat in the cemetery and stared at the trees while my heart rate settled to something normal and I stopped shaking.  Ageing process? Sick? Not enough breakfast?

I wanted to get out for a solstice bivi but I just couldn't bring myself to set out in the howling wind so I didn't - that's fine though, I will try and do something before the end of the year.

I found myself learning new things about the oceans and waters in 2023, despite now spending that much time in them. I need to rectify that and get myself in there again. Not in a competitive way, just in an enjoyable way.

The scooter has brought me great joy this year - the opportunity to try a new skill.  The scooting bit is easy but learning how far I can go, the best techniques, how to carry my stuff, what affects progress - for better or worse.  It's simple and, unlike my initial urge to attempt something water-bourne, doesn't require too much new kit.

Getting Lena was the best thing I did with 2023 (ok, she joined us in December 2022) and might be the key reason for my lethargy, but I don't, for one moment, regret my decision to get a dog.  For all that she has sapped me of my usual sporting "performance" (tongue in cheek), she's kept me active beyond my wildest plans.

I'm determined not to let the new year suck me into work the way 2023 has.  I've new staff starting next year allowing me to gradually extract myself from the malestrom and instead seek out calmer waters (possibly literally) of lake and oceanside.

In between that we have a new house to buy.  I've been on the fence about this for the longest time (probably years) but have accepted the need to stay "in" the rat race a little longer to find ourselves somewhere that feels more grown-up than student-hovel, more spacious than falling-over-eachother, more like a home than a tenancy, possibly more country-cottage than city-slicker.  All part of getting back to nature, I'd love to get streetlights out of my bedroom window.  

Winds or seas of change.  Only time will tell this year.  I hope it doesn't pass as quickly as 2023.

The little cabin

I've been reading Jill Homer's books and dreaming of Alaskan wilderness, life on the bike and out of a bivi bag and every time I put the book down I have to return to my own drudging life of city scapes, life in an engineering office and from a stone-fronted terraced house with a draughty loft and a minor stream running through the basement.

I just started to read 'Arctic Glass'. Page 2 on the kindle recounts a return home from work to their 'little one-room cabin' and I look around me and finally feel like I am lucky to live here. Not because I have 6 rooms (if you count the drafty loft and a the basement with its trickle) but because this is my one room cabin. To have more than this we would need to work harder, gamble more on loans, pay more interest and do / spend less time / money on bikes.

Our 6 rooms - living, kitchen, bed, spare (just big enough for a single bed and a clothes horse), loft and basement mean that the only people who visit are hardy or close family and therefore the only people who understand our overflowing home of bikes, muddy fell shoes, excessive outdoor gear and wetsuits hanging from every corner of those spare rooms. And Sheffield is our perfect city. It provides our jobs and gives us somewhere serviced from which to access the Peak. It is our basecamp.

The only thing I'd change? Our noisy neighbour but really, he's a dickhead less than 1 in 20 days of the year.

And so the trudgery continues of working to support the cabin, gradually, very gradually turning it into somewhere more cosy and less cruddy - give or take a few damp spots - as, after 4 years of being here we finally get around to 'sorting the house out'.

Note to visitors: it's still going to be a hovel by your standards

Question: Do I want this view at the end of my street?

I believe the answer is...

"HELL YES!"

A busy week

A busy week this week:

Epic at work

My first 1 mile swim, though I was only supposed to do 1km.

My first run to work.  I wasn't still fell short of the 7 mile target (at 6.875) and I had to walk the last bit as my knee started to hurt.  That said, I wasn't at all sore the next day.

I started the house hunt yesterday on the bike which is always good for a laugh with all the hills in Sheffield.  I refused to ride up one hill which, essentially, means we don't really want to live up there anyway.

In other news, I apparently won a club award for our local duathlon last night.  Shame the tickets were too expensive for me to actually be there.  Still, that's triathlon for ya.

The commuter bike has been cleaned, its wheels straightened for use in the 'cross bike through the winter.  I have mudguards and a new helmet.  I even have snow tyres for when it gets slippery though I still need to invest in some YakTrax.

I have spent the rest of the week trying to get software working to put me in my training zones over time and transferring over all the info from the month of October.

Time to see if the training and "loosening" ride yesterday help towards today's 'cross race.