Clutching at straws

It's been a grossly self-indulgent day and I'm not proud of myself.  Not a spa kind of self-indulgent but a wallowing self-indulgence spurned by under-performance.

The sense of déjâ vu.

I only swam a mile.  I was so desperate to achieve 2 miles.  I even went to the Hallamshire but there's no A&E so I have to debate whether to go to the Northern General on Monday.  I will do what I know best and attempt a 16 mile run.  If I make it to work in a good state, I'll stay.  If not I'll go to hospital.  How's that?

I sat on the sofa for the rest of the day analysing stats.  It made me feel better.

The blip on the left is 2012 when TSK & I got married and did a half Ironman.  The next blip is 2013 when I completed my only Ironman - Forestman.  The big fucking mountain is 2014 which started off with a pretty scary 'cross season and spiralled into life threatening illness and a failure to complete Celtman.  This then rumbles on into a tough 'cross season ending January 2015, a vibrant 2015 Standard distance season (which is justified in being effort-intensive on account of FAST) and the gently sloping hill on the right... is 2016...I am working hard to convince myself that 2016's controlled expansion in effort is somehow living statistical proof of my chances of surviving another year of Ironman racing and my high likelihood of not only finishing but also beating my Forestman time.  I will tentatively admit that it might be working and at the moment, I'm just to knackked to appreciate it.

What I have to look out for, is 2016 turning into a mountain, and not the justifiable hillock it should be.

From November to race date & now
Swim - 2016 - 33.6miles 59hrs 42mins / 2014 - 53 miles 33hours 5mins /  2013 - 58 miles 29hours 55 mins
Bike - 2016 - 1497 miles 141hours 21 mins 19.6km vertical climb /  2014 - 1655 miles 151 hours 51 mins 23.5km climbing /  2013 - 1149 miles 157 hours, 24km vertical climb
Run - 2016 - 287.2 miles 104 hours 23 mins 4.6km vertical climb /  2014 -  365 miles 90hours 54 mins 11.9km vertical climb /  2013 - 218 miles in 62h 15min, 8.8km vertical climb.

If I do all remaining planned swimming I can hit 68 miles.
Not worried about the bike.
If I do all remaining planned running sessions I can hit 390 miles.

No mountains,... not mountains, fingers crossed.