Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Crisis Talks - With Myself

I had a melt down on Sunday.  No big pissy fit, just dead.  I was absolutely dead.  I was convinced I wasn't going to be able to run more than 5 km again and I couldn't even take anything good from a really nice long bike ride on Saturday because that fell 10 miles short of the intended distance. Targets shmargets.

Yesterday I asked Andrew to remind me.  Next time I have a melt down day like that, remind me that the next day is going to be absolutely frickin' awesome.

I got up early, I swam 2.7 km, I had a constructive morning at work, I went to see a house, I cycled back to work, I worked late and I cycled home fast.  I organised everything for my site visit and fixed my commuter bike and I stayed up with him then went to bed at midnight having ordered a few last-minute things for my bike.

Of course I was slightly cut down to size again by the tragic events at the Boston Marathon where two bombs exploded by the finish line of the race.  Aside from all the damage, destruction, death and injury, the sense of injustice that people who have committed themselves day in day out for months to strive towards this one event - for some, potentially, the zenith of their lives - can have it snatched from them by the insignificant and selfish act of another mean-minded individual (or organisation).  Indiscriminantly.  Unfairly.  It took me a while to process the news, to deal with it on my terms.  I feel for the people who are still dealing with it today.  Who are facing a life living with it.

I got up late this morning but then I had a relaxed breakfast.  Some days I need to take care of myself, I know this.  I set off for site, stopped on the way for a run and managed almost 15 km.  Fixed!  My foot is mostly fixed!

There is no words to describe my relief and joy!

Looking back it seems silly to have been in such a dark place on Sunday but if I've learned anything in the last few years of training for endurance events it's that sometimes Trep needs to embrace the dark side.

I guess this blog post is here to remind me that next time, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it's approximately 24 hours (or 4 weeks of rested foot) away.  Meanwhile, I have to stop myself from over-training now that I am completely and utterly overjoyed with myself.

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