In the style of Graculus (in my inbox this morning)
Monday, 30. January 2006, 18:16
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from
downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks
locations.
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest
going on.
5. Weed
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 7% instead of approximately 200% as it is
for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you
can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually
afford to be its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in
anti-government militia groups.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for
hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find that you
suddenly have beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending
on your mood.
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns
float by.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal
election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style
crime.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable
2. You can take bets with your friends on which
English neighbour will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in
Canada.
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo
*#!%!"
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets
98% of your income.
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a
lighthouse.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't,
think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an
excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver
Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come
from.
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch
lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off
to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in
excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders
to your wedding
1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from
downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks
locations.
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest
going on.
5. Weed
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 7% instead of approximately 200% as it is
for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you
can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually
afford to be its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in
anti-government militia groups.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for
hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find that you
suddenly have beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending
on your mood.
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns
float by.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal
election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style
crime.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable
2. You can take bets with your friends on which
English neighbour will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in
Canada.
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo
*#!%!"
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets
98% of your income.
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a
lighthouse.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't,
think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an
excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver
Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come
from.
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch
lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off
to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in
excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders
to your wedding
In Memory of...
Friday, 27. January 2006, 17:46
Well, I just had to ride to work today. I have got the bike out again I am going to bath her at the weekend and I am going to get on with getting fit. A week off is tooooo long.
This morning:
16.13km
17.43kph
55:33 min
39.9 max. Wheeee!
1495km since moving to the Okanagan 18 months ago. That's a bit crap for a cycling chick.
Laters: I actually dragged my speed up to 18.03kph by the time I got home. Must've been the wind direction. Amazing news - that didn't occurr to me last Friday is that total distance is now up to 1512km. I need to figure out if these are Okanagan kms or Canadian kms... interesting. OK - for me perhaps.
This morning:
16.13km
17.43kph
55:33 min
39.9 max. Wheeee!
1495km since moving to the Okanagan 18 months ago. That's a bit crap for a cycling chick.
Laters: I actually dragged my speed up to 18.03kph by the time I got home. Must've been the wind direction. Amazing news - that didn't occurr to me last Friday is that total distance is now up to 1512km. I need to figure out if these are Okanagan kms or Canadian kms... interesting. OK - for me perhaps.
Wow!
Friday, 27. January 2006, 16:02
Hi Eve, Well, I was going to take my time over this but since you're here, I shalln't dilly-dally. I am new here to opera but come here from another blog-land.
I am excited. I have learned a lesson and I have implemented a change. It's something I have been meaning to do for a long time - start a newbie blog. It's both more public, being searchable, yet more private. The previous blog has, for some time, been a tad mundane, once I and my friends discovered that it was being invaded by - of all things - my family! And horror of horrors, they were mostly lurkers. And lurkers that exposed me to other family members, leadidng right up to Great Aunty Margaret. She didn't, I suspect, really want to know the fine details of my battle over pornography with the men at work or the exact swear words I used that day. And I must say, what I'd written suddenly seemed a little lame when it was replayed to my husband (up until now unaware of my blog) by my uncle.
So, my dears, my old friends and new, this is your forum, not just mine. Write what you will, let your keyboard wild, for this is me again...
LIVE, UUNCENSORED and UUPLUGGED.
For those who haven't met me before, here's what you could know to help you decide whether to stay, revisit or just read-on:
I am excited. I have learned a lesson and I have implemented a change. It's something I have been meaning to do for a long time - start a newbie blog. It's both more public, being searchable, yet more private. The previous blog has, for some time, been a tad mundane, once I and my friends discovered that it was being invaded by - of all things - my family! And horror of horrors, they were mostly lurkers. And lurkers that exposed me to other family members, leadidng right up to Great Aunty Margaret. She didn't, I suspect, really want to know the fine details of my battle over pornography with the men at work or the exact swear words I used that day. And I must say, what I'd written suddenly seemed a little lame when it was replayed to my husband (up until now unaware of my blog) by my uncle.
So, my dears, my old friends and new, this is your forum, not just mine. Write what you will, let your keyboard wild, for this is me again...
LIVE, UUNCENSORED and UUPLUGGED.
For those who haven't met me before, here's what you could know to help you decide whether to stay, revisit or just read-on:
- The content of this blog varies from day to day depending on who is authoring it: wifey, athlete, employee, pet owner, insane biker. They're all me, they just vary their input.
- I generally work on the principle that if nothing's worth saying, don't say anything. I don't apply this to my blog
- I work hard to find something to say every day and occasionally what I say is described as "classic"
- I form strong attachments to friends I haven't met yet, but especially to those I left behind in the UK
- I love my bikes a lot. They need new names, except "Red"
- I like my cats and photograph them regularly. They are quite photogenic for cats. They're S-puss and Andrew.
- I love posting pictures but my camera is a bit cheap.
- I love my husband (Hubby) more than I blog about him.
- I am a ski professional (instructor) but too much of a chicken to be poor so I am a slave to a "proper job" which I actually enjoy and care about (but I have to be in a good mood to admit it)
- After years of denial I actually quite like kids adn would seecretly like to have one... or two.
- I blog from work and don't really have time for surfing, posting links or downloads. I'm a bit of a luddite for technology but I get by.
- Politically, I care about: the environment, cyclists rights and safety, government funded health services, personal choice in charity and religion.
- I race triathlon: I love cycling. I'm learning to swim crawl. Running satisfies me but deep down, I don't really like it much.
- Shhhh. I used to live in England
- I miss: Friends, family, history, dry stone walls, pubs, rolling rural landscapes, familiarity (accent, dialect and awareness), sheep, employee rights, effective managers
- I don't miss: British media, traffic, frantic lifestyle, high cost of living, the mortgage, rain, damp, mould, TV license, road tax, fuel tax, lack of community spirit, crime.
epic_explorer
Latest comments
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