Post Alpine Drizzle

Looking at social media.  All these Athletes getting ready for their big races this weekend.  Oh, I'm so fit.  I've had my last pre race massage.  Eh, all I need to do is rest now.

Bastards.

Here I sit with a resting heart rate 24 bpm higher than it should be and not going down and I'm like. Meh.  Like Sofa.  LIKE FUCK I'M RACING THIS WEEKEND TOO. Like I'm so sitting on the sofa eating plums out of the box but just because there's no nutella.

Yep, that's right.  I'm racing this weekend.

Weeks ago, when I was ill, I gave up coffee.  I hadn't drunk it for days due to the illness and so I'd gone through the worst of cold turkey whilst ill, I thought I'd see it through and just keep on cutting out coffee.  That was 10th June.  I lapsed once - which is unusual for me.  A lapse is usually the end.

I haven't felt any different for giving up coffee but also I haven't been ill and I haven't had any sleepless nights.  I haven't stopped caffeine intake - I still drink tea though more herbal teas get drunk to substitute coffee so I've definitely cut down.

When I'm feeling this bad, I wonder if I should go back to drinking coffee but I won't because I don't miss it as much as this great relief that I permanently feel well, even when I'm feeling rough from recovering from a race.  I'm at home resting today to attempt to recover a bit faster before my race this weekend.  I don't even need the coffee to feel better about my working day... but it would be so nice to have a cup of coffee... but I won't.

I have attempted to qualify for this years world champs twice this year and failed both times.  I don't really mind.  The world champs is in Rotterdam and so not particularly exciting.  It is also on a date that would leave me rushing to get back from the Torino Nice Rally and that is NOT something I want to do.

At both races though, I would have got a Euro's qualifying time... had it been a Euro's qualifying race... but it wasn't.  So this weekend I am going to be attempting to qualify for the european team.  And if I do, I will hang up my bib for the tri season because the other race means me rushing to get TO the Torino Nice Rally - also not really something I want to do.

If I don't qualify, I won't berate myself because I do feel rubbish and I just did a shit hard race which was shittier and harder than most people will realise.  I will glow in the outcome of racing twice in two weeks and pat myself on the back, commit to racing at Bala and try harder next time... but in the meantime, I might also have another day off.

I've read a blog by a blogess who always inspires me.  She writes honestly about how hard it is to train for Ironman as a pro and also about how much she likes beating people when it comes to racing.  Somehow I have lost that connection between the satisfaction of being near the front and racing and a need to train.  I find myself scrambling for ways to remind myself of it - short of reading other people's blogs and occasionally from when I re-read my own posts about past races.  I didn't do a particularly great race at Chester (I mean, it was OK) and Ripon was a bit of a write off because of all the tired from all the Alpine strength training I had been doing and I pushed too hard on the bike to the detriment of the run.

So, despite having a day off, I remind myself that I've promised every race a plan and so here it is for Sunday:

Swim: 30 (but not holding out for this as I've REALLY not done any training except a very steady one last Thursday).
Bike: Another attempt at 1:14 and 19mph but without the headwind at Ripon I might get 20mph for a 1:10
Run: I'd be so chuffed to run a 49 again.  Who knows, it might just be possible on altitude training if I recover in time.  Speed - 7.6mph.

Allowing for 2 min average transitions this would give me a finish time of 2:33. 312/545 (10th FH and 5th FI) at StN Q or 312th/700 in the last qualifier on this course (5th FI 10th FH).