Middle of the night contentment

It's 3:18am to be precise.

I'm sitting on my kitchen floor although - unlike many sessions sitting on my kitchen floor at 3am recently - this isn't a sad thing.  To my right is a banana which I am eating to refuel after the National Cyclo-cross championships which took place today in Bradford.  I didn't have my greatest race - those came last week for some reason - but I did have an OK race.  I am still to figure out whether it was faster than last time or not.

To my left side is a mug of valerian tea to help me get back to sleep in a bit.  The effect of valerian tea on cats is similar to catnip.  To the extent that I start to think valerian is actually catnip.  My large cat is therefore rolling around by my side - stoned, slightly mesmerised, playful and flirty.  Typing is difficult for me because I've got one eye on my tea bag tag to make sure she doesn't just tug the mug over.

Despite being awake at 3am I am in a really happy place.

Yes it was work that woke me up but I have let things go this week and once awake, the best thing for me to do was to get up, get properly awake and remind myself that none of this is a problem.  It has all been fixed.  I am moving on.

So I started thinking about what is next to look forwards to.  There are two cyclocrosses left in Yorkshire over the next two coming weeks but only one is a league event so next weekend we are having a break from that and instead, disappearing into the welsh hills to take on an extraordinary bike packing adventure.

I wholly can't wait and am looking forwards to spending tomorrow planning the whole thing - whilst obviously being completely incapable of planning for weather conditions because WALES and because it's a whole week away yet.

I am happy because I have a home, I am just about holding on to my job (erm...) and because I have adventures to look forwards to.  I feel freer and more positive now than I have in a while  and I don't actually feel like I need much more.  I can sit on my kitchen floor and feel content.  The house feels more like a cabin now than it ever has.