I am both a very happy, quite excited and also a very sad. Sad that what should've been the best day of my life was wasted on something I knew to be farcical. A later realisation that the "virginal" excitement of choosing flowers, writing invitations, listening to speeches and wearing a pretty frock built especially for me, was flawed by the inevitability of disaster. I'd do it again with the right person - not as big, not as spectacular but definitely more - and more in the right way.
It's partly my own fault and so it is with regret that I posted away five years of my life this morning, recorded delivery. Not so that I know it has arrived, but so that I know when it has arrived, because I must know these things.
On a different note, this weekend, I am looking forward to the prospect of cutting a 1m x 0.5m hole in the side of my van so that I can install a window where once there was metal. I am nervous about this activity. It's not a small window and it's not a workpiece that I can easily discard and replace with a new one at the first mistake.
So I reassured myself by talking to Chris (of the angle-grinder) who reminded me that it didn't matter how jagged the hole that I cut, so long as I have a large-enough piece of rubber to slap over the hole. He's a good friend to talk to, yet his ideas of me, him and Mr Loftus going into business is all together not-going-to-happen. My days of being the only one to do all the management are over.
I stood outside my flat watching the sun go down and drew a rectangle in blue permanent marker pen on the outside of my car.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
It was indeed a good Friday
Stacked
The weather report was for easter was high winds and snow storms. "Dreadful" was how they put it yet there is London woosy weather reporter dreadful and there is the Northern upper-lip dreadful which recognises that underlying snow showers might mean great blasts of clear sunshine in between.
So on Thursday night the Vanu tackled the Yorkshire Dales in its new, fully laden format.
We arrived at the campsite in the depths of dark and a well-meaning yet grumbly farm lady showed us to a spot before returning to lambing which she had been doing for the last 16 hours. I suppose she had every right to be grumpy.
On Friday the bright skies gave us hope and we set off to walk to the market in Ingleton - a 7 mile hike across the moors. We realised an oops in our plan (disconnected footpaths at the fold of the map) and instead, already armed with lunch, opted for a hike up Whernside from the North side.
As we watched the weather roll in we changed our minds back and forth... it was too risky, we were well prepared, we were too unfit, the weather would pass. Then it did.
As soon as horizontal snow had fallen (or should I say, blazed past us at epilepsy-inducing speed, occasionally stinging faces on the way), horizontal sunshine rained down... that is to say the wind didn't drop.
Eventually, in a fit of sunshine, Whernside was declared do-able and we continued on up the steep slope. A family passed us on the way down. The children looked fine & dad was in good spirits but mum warned us that it was "very blowy" on top. How much worse could it be?
And as the sun came out again we imagined their conversation back at the car, him saying, "see, they're up there in the sunshine now".
It was indeed very blowy but a constant force instead of the blustering I had imagined. As we decended the 3 Peaks bike race route I was glad that the wind was doing the gravity-resistance bit for me as my own legs were a bit shaky from the climb.
A couple, walking poles in each of their 4 hands walked the other way.The back of an organised group, they asked what conditions were like ahead. Was there any risk of "falling off? You see he is a little funny with heights". I asked which way they were going down. They didn't know, they were just going to "the next one"!
3 Peaks-ers. I doubted their chances of success on Ingleborough & Pen-Y-Ghent if Whernside was giving them concerns but wished them luck and continued on our way. There's little point in asking my opinion on danger for I am insane.
The day had saved its hail for us to be walking face into the wind. We watched it accumulate as we stumbled along the path-line, eyes-down. Then again it was gone and the bright yellow scortched frozen winter grasses dazzled us in the sunshine. For every snowstorm there was indeed an equal and opposite special moment of sunshine that made everything worthwhile. A day full of "this is the 'why'?" moments.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Projecting
The new bike is finished. It went together like a dream. Each part was installed without problem - the new bottom bracket, transmission, chain, shifters, handlebars, seat post (caused a few size concerns but largely resolved).
Then TSK pointed out the drop on the brakes wasn't long enough (the brake pads would've touched the tyre, not the rim of the wheel). Sadly I realised the brakes were the only brand new part of Green which hadn't been broken. I would need to go out and buy new brakes.
While waiting for the brakes, the name of the bike came to me. I was thinking of calling her Easy, since she went together so well, so well behaved. Then TSK suggested he would call her "Lovely" and it has stuck.
On Friday lunchtime Bristows texted me (because they're efficient like that) to say my brakes were in... and I couldn't work for the rest of the day.
Finally the last parts of the bike slotted together on Friday night.
Today we had chores to do in town - like visiting the local photographic society's display at the Fenland museum. There were many many beautiful pictures of Rannoch Moor, Buchaille Etive Mhor and Stac Pollaidh, Old Man of Stoer and the 3 Sisters as well as deer, pine martins, wildcats and Falcons to make me lust for Northern Shores. Thank goodness, since I told them I'd go on Friday.
As well as the photographics, we needed to go to the capital of Fenland to find Rainbow Conversions so that we could poke and play and discuss the layout and installation of a Campervan within the confines of the Vanu. That we did. Meaning to leave with an appointment to get windows installed in the vanu we were slightly disapointed to find there was no chance until August when we plan to be living somewhere else. We did, however, leave with a roll of upholstery fabric and insulation foam in the back of the Vanu and a very ambitious plan.
Silver Lining is not going to be the only one playing with bits of wood in the garden this summer.
Then TSK pointed out the drop on the brakes wasn't long enough (the brake pads would've touched the tyre, not the rim of the wheel). Sadly I realised the brakes were the only brand new part of Green which hadn't been broken. I would need to go out and buy new brakes.
While waiting for the brakes, the name of the bike came to me. I was thinking of calling her Easy, since she went together so well, so well behaved. Then TSK suggested he would call her "Lovely" and it has stuck.
On Friday lunchtime Bristows texted me (because they're efficient like that) to say my brakes were in... and I couldn't work for the rest of the day.
Finally the last parts of the bike slotted together on Friday night.
Today we had chores to do in town - like visiting the local photographic society's display at the Fenland museum. There were many many beautiful pictures of Rannoch Moor, Buchaille Etive Mhor and Stac Pollaidh, Old Man of Stoer and the 3 Sisters as well as deer, pine martins, wildcats and Falcons to make me lust for Northern Shores. Thank goodness, since I told them I'd go on Friday.
As well as the photographics, we needed to go to the capital of Fenland to find Rainbow Conversions so that we could poke and play and discuss the layout and installation of a Campervan within the confines of the Vanu. That we did. Meaning to leave with an appointment to get windows installed in the vanu we were slightly disapointed to find there was no chance until August when we plan to be living somewhere else. We did, however, leave with a roll of upholstery fabric and insulation foam in the back of the Vanu and a very ambitious plan.
Silver Lining is not going to be the only one playing with bits of wood in the garden this summer.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Back once again with the renegade master
I was on a flier tonight on my way home from work - sprinting up the hill, my knobly tyres rasping on the road as I dashed towards the comfort of a cuppa tea.
A group of hoodies were crossing the road right by my turning onto the bike lane around the dog-fields.
"Scoose me guys, can I squeeze through the middle?" I bellowed, confident as the cold, foggy air would allow.
"Sorry!" they crowed, and herded to the edges, watching my every move. In the Ortons I half expected them to jump me for my 50p and sweaty underwear but instead they yelled, "Cheers mate!" after me as I rode off shouting my "thanks" back.
I wonder if my rebellious underdog biker sides me with the yoof pack or if they were still just trying to suss if I was a big bloke in disguise.
I is down with the hood' I is.
A group of hoodies were crossing the road right by my turning onto the bike lane around the dog-fields.
"Scoose me guys, can I squeeze through the middle?" I bellowed, confident as the cold, foggy air would allow.
"Sorry!" they crowed, and herded to the edges, watching my every move. In the Ortons I half expected them to jump me for my 50p and sweaty underwear but instead they yelled, "Cheers mate!" after me as I rode off shouting my "thanks" back.
I wonder if my rebellious underdog biker sides me with the yoof pack or if they were still just trying to suss if I was a big bloke in disguise.
I is down with the hood' I is.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Ski Holiday
Last week I went skiing with my best friend TSK. The plane was 2 hours late so we sat around lots in Stanstead and I did puzzles which my brane is usually too tired for and TSK read lots of his book.
By the time we got to the France it was late and we were too tired to care that we had a two hour transfer ahead cos we were just glad there wasn't a bus full of people that had been waiting two hours for us. We also didn't mind about being late because we knew it was because of lots of snow falling.
When we got to our hotel the lasagne had been in the oven for two hours too long and we thought the food was going to be yuck for the rest of the week but it was OK cos the pasta was just leathery because it was in the oven for two hours. The rest of the food was really good.
On the first day we went out on the green run at the bottom of the hill but we soon got bored of that so we went and did some easy blues and practised some tricks. TSK learnt some new things. At the end of the day it snowed a bit. We had wine with dinner and felt a bit funny.
On the second day it was already snowing lots and just kept on snowing and snowing. We went up high but then it got really windy on top and the snow was still coming down so we went low down on the hill to stay safe and went in early so we could rest before our snowboard lesson. The snowboard lesson was great lots of fun. When we fell over we just laughed and laughed cos we just went fumph into the deep snow.
On Tuesday my little cousin came up the mountain to meet us. We did some blues and had lunch then went and played on a Red run called Voute. It was ded steep with a bit where TSK could go round the edge. Keith loved it cos he went in upto his knees in deep snow and found a jump off the edge of the track onto the steep red. He landed it then caught his edge and did a back flip and the people on the lift went "weyyheyy" really loud and I laughed. We did it again. I had fun skiing up to my thighs in deep snow. On the way down we did the black run into the resort whilst TSK went round the green. I was tempted by the trees but they were way too uniformly planted and my skis were all over the place being crappy legged. I got to the bottom okay though and then realised my boots had been undone all the way down which I textd to Keith later and made him laugh on his way home.
On Wednesday we went to Serre Chevalier and played on their insane pomma lifts which go all the way up to the top of the mountain and some of the slopes are 1:1 (50%) and bounce about a lot. The boys call them nut-crushers. I thought they were funny and tried to lift my feet up. We had nice lunch at Serre Chevalier and didn't queue much. We might go there again. We came down at 3:30 and had crepes with chocolate on and beer and went for a last run before the bus and TSK did another red with a big bump in it that made his crepe wriggle about.
We laughed at the rep for repeating the name of the meeting point over and over and pondered the idea of calling him a week later to say, "where's the bus". He stuck a sticker on me with his phone number on it. I think he fancied me.
On Thursday Keith came over on his skis. He looked like a big girl on skis with his dreds till he went down hill much faster than me. I said I couldn't help him with his ski position because he goes in a straight line really nicely. I made him work by doing some turns and was happy cos the black run was easier for me even if I didn't make it look that way. We went over to the other side of the mountain which was a bit icy so after a bit of bum sliding we went to the bar and drank beer and hot wine before sending my cuz back to Alpe d'Huez.
On Friday it was our last day so we skied the entire resort with TSK doing blues or reds and me doing the blacks and reds and we took lifts we hadn't done yet and went over some little jumps.
It was a brilliant holiday and I was totally pampered and my new goggles did what they say on the tin and stayed fog-free and the new poles did their trick and were really light.
It is nice to be home so I can do my washing and my room doesn't smell like ass anymore.
Ski Fest 2008 - 1
By the time we got to the France it was late and we were too tired to care that we had a two hour transfer ahead cos we were just glad there wasn't a bus full of people that had been waiting two hours for us. We also didn't mind about being late because we knew it was because of lots of snow falling.
When we got to our hotel the lasagne had been in the oven for two hours too long and we thought the food was going to be yuck for the rest of the week but it was OK cos the pasta was just leathery because it was in the oven for two hours. The rest of the food was really good.
On the first day we went out on the green run at the bottom of the hill but we soon got bored of that so we went and did some easy blues and practised some tricks. TSK learnt some new things. At the end of the day it snowed a bit. We had wine with dinner and felt a bit funny.
On the second day it was already snowing lots and just kept on snowing and snowing. We went up high but then it got really windy on top and the snow was still coming down so we went low down on the hill to stay safe and went in early so we could rest before our snowboard lesson. The snowboard lesson was great lots of fun. When we fell over we just laughed and laughed cos we just went fumph into the deep snow.
On Tuesday my little cousin came up the mountain to meet us. We did some blues and had lunch then went and played on a Red run called Voute. It was ded steep with a bit where TSK could go round the edge. Keith loved it cos he went in upto his knees in deep snow and found a jump off the edge of the track onto the steep red. He landed it then caught his edge and did a back flip and the people on the lift went "weyyheyy" really loud and I laughed. We did it again. I had fun skiing up to my thighs in deep snow. On the way down we did the black run into the resort whilst TSK went round the green. I was tempted by the trees but they were way too uniformly planted and my skis were all over the place being crappy legged. I got to the bottom okay though and then realised my boots had been undone all the way down which I textd to Keith later and made him laugh on his way home.
On Wednesday we went to Serre Chevalier and played on their insane pomma lifts which go all the way up to the top of the mountain and some of the slopes are 1:1 (50%) and bounce about a lot. The boys call them nut-crushers. I thought they were funny and tried to lift my feet up. We had nice lunch at Serre Chevalier and didn't queue much. We might go there again. We came down at 3:30 and had crepes with chocolate on and beer and went for a last run before the bus and TSK did another red with a big bump in it that made his crepe wriggle about.
We laughed at the rep for repeating the name of the meeting point over and over and pondered the idea of calling him a week later to say, "where's the bus". He stuck a sticker on me with his phone number on it. I think he fancied me.
On Thursday Keith came over on his skis. He looked like a big girl on skis with his dreds till he went down hill much faster than me. I said I couldn't help him with his ski position because he goes in a straight line really nicely. I made him work by doing some turns and was happy cos the black run was easier for me even if I didn't make it look that way. We went over to the other side of the mountain which was a bit icy so after a bit of bum sliding we went to the bar and drank beer and hot wine before sending my cuz back to Alpe d'Huez.
On Friday it was our last day so we skied the entire resort with TSK doing blues or reds and me doing the blacks and reds and we took lifts we hadn't done yet and went over some little jumps.
It was a brilliant holiday and I was totally pampered and my new goggles did what they say on the tin and stayed fog-free and the new poles did their trick and were really light.
It is nice to be home so I can do my washing and my room doesn't smell like ass anymore.
Ski Fest 2008 - 1
Sunday, February 10, 2008
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