Monday, August 27, 2018

The Tiny Flat One

After my DNF in Scotland but then not really feeling all that bad about it at all (I did "only" do 3530km) I decided it might be feasible to do a 200km ride this weekend to make sure I got my August RRtY in.  No point in dropping all the balls right?

I had a Perm ride in my in-tray.  An organiser-published routesheet and card which can be completed at a rider's liesure - once they have paid their entry fee.

I could have done it on Monday to get better weather but by Saturday afternoon I was already itching to get out on my bike so I decided to ride the wave of enthusiasm and head out to Thorne early Sunday morning to get a run on the traffic.

The ride from Thorne, through Bawtry to Gainsborough of 40km wasn't so bad.  A bit main roady but dry and pleasant enough riding past the fields.  I started with a bit of a head wind, then cross winds.  I stuck to my plan not to race too hard this time and pottered around 21-22kmph.  Occasionally I strayed up to 24 - 26 but this was mostly when I experienced brief bouts of tail wind.

I had toast and tea at Rosies at 10:30 but that was too early for lunch so carried on out into the fens and flatlands at 11.  The weather gifted rain as I left the cafe and I quickly walked back under the smoking shelter to put on my waterproof coat, shoe covers and rain legs.

As I left I realised I'd forgotten to fill my water bottle but still had about half a bottle left so decided it would be OK until lunch. 

As 11:45 rocked by I started to feel a bit concerned.  There were few places on the radar until Caistor which would have involved a detour.  Thankfully at 11:50 I started to see signs for "Uncle Henry's" and sure enough, a farm shop materialised on the horizon.  I didn't really fancy the half-mile long lane to reach it but decided not to look the gift-horse in the mouth and continued in.

The bike parking was some horrible self-made wooden frame which was hungry to eat rear derailleurs and spit the bike back out without any gears so I walked around the back and locked it to some scaffolding tubes cemented into breeze blocks.  Great until I realised the one I had locked to was completely free-moving.  5 more minutes down the toilet.  I promised myself I wasn't going to stress about time today.  I nearly upped and left - but a quick Garmin reccee confirmed there was nothing for miles so thankfully I persevered.

The cafe operated an Ikea-style one-way system to make sure you saw ALL of the products on offer.  Having located the cafe and secured a table, I had to do two laps of the one way system to get my bottle off my bike and then find the toilets.  By the time my food came I was nearly livid! but then relaxed and felt lucky as a steady stream of people with reservations and people without reservations quickly filled the remaining tables.  Just in time doesn't do it justice.

My sandwich was not a terrible rip off but also insufficient to get me to Cleethorpes so I had to do the decent thing and have cake too.

I was right to stop, I covered quite a few miles before I hit civilisation again.  There was nothing on the route out and then I passed the point of my turn-back.  With still 40km of out-and-back to do, there was nothing really until I got to Waltham.  There were a few more turn notifications to give me something to do except for look at fields but little else along the way to Cleethorpes.

It was still raining outside but now I at least had a hill to look forwards to. 

Given the name of this ride, the routesheet contains the disclaimer, "This ride is not completely flat it includes one section over the Yorkshire Wolds..."

The route finally took me away from main and B-roads and on to some lovely lanes through quaint Lincolnshire villages (or was it Yorkshire? I lost count).  The hill was a little taxing.,I certainly hit my lowest gear, but it was not too long and I was soon correcting the dent in my average speed for that 25 mile section.  The descents on the other side were fast and empty of cars with only one section of bad road surface.

Cleethorpes had a little bit of life to it.  We are, after all, still in season.  The cafe I stopped at had a few seats remaining but most others were taken up with soggy holiday makers and soggy, bored kids.  Hot chocolate and an Eccles cake were all I could muster.  Nothing too sweet and sticky. 

I didn't dawdle, although I did stand under the hand-driers for a while and ring my gloves out into a napkin or two.  I'm gutted I forgot to ring-out my socks. 

So, the ride back.  Well, it rained a little less hard but there must have been the dry front coming as the wind suddenly got very blustery.  I nearly lost my grip on the bars a few times.  The h
ill was a little more sapping in the opposite direction.  The downhill was more thrilling and I got to see the view along the Wold instead of climbing up it. 

It felt good to make the turn towards home and realise I had only 15k to go to my next stop and then a 40k ride to the finish.

Just as I thought it was safe to stop and take my waterproofs off in favour of dry clothes, the heavens opened again and put me in my place.

Although I knew I was out of time for the windmill cafe, I went to see it anyway then headed into Kirton Lindsey for a receipt.  At 6pm, I simulated dinner with a packet of Doritos, a chocolate croissant and a cold laté.  I stood in the doorway by the heaters for a while then, to get a sit down on the only bit of dry wall in the place, I sat right next to the bin to finish my Doritos.  At least it was a clean bin, or the cool temperatures were keeping any odours at bay.

I joined the north-bound road alongside the river trent.  Checking the Garmin, I had around 5km of riding straight North before turning around and riding back down the South side.  I'd not normally describe the M180 motorway to Scunthorpe and Doncaster as majestic but when you look at it from Fen level, sweeping over the flood planes it looks like something from Northern France or Holland and I have to admit to being impressed.  That was nothing compared to the Keadby King George V bridge that I crossed.


Better photo here

Onto the South-bound ride, to my relief the wind had dropped and I was putting out enough energy to warm up for the first time since climbing over the wold.  The rain legs came on, the lights went on and I set about the last 30 kms.

I counted them down most expectantly but the route did deliver comfortable lanes riding with brief stints on airport service roads, fenland lanes wide enough for only one vehicle, tiny humpback bridges over streams and a sudden arrival at my destination - so sudden I skidded as I turned into the Co-op at full-speed when I nearly missed it.

Chocolate milk was the finishing order and perfectly price reduced water melon for easy-consumption on the way home.  My van provided the perfect cover from drunk people walking home from the pub for taking off wet gear and putting on civilian clothes.



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