Nae Bother to Us Audax 400km

Approximately by checkpoint:

1-why am I stoping already? 37km to Moorebattle

2 - 67km Wooler. I will have a scone with Darren from Durham. Darren then disappeared and was replaced by Simon who talked quite a lot about his fitness numbers (audax rarity), Rich and Esmond who were nice.

3- 96km Berwick is backwards. I don't like towns.  Got cash and carried on

4-143km why did I not eat at Berwick?  Snacking all the way to Eglingham and the pub with lovely salmon sandwiches.

5 - 187km Elsdon Best 'gypsy toast' finally at 13.30!  Marion and Alan did indeed look after my every need.

Richard enjoying the village green 

6-that was fast, does 'gypsy toast' have cocaine in it?  What was all that off road about?

Demonstrating the capabilities of the Lauf forks by photographing Rich and Esmond on the move... on a trail

Dropping people in headwinds across the moors (thanks TAW). Never ending ups and downs.

207km Freestyle dinner stop - Chinese food in Bellingham where we finally found the vegan diabetic some chips!   Rich moaned a bit and huffed a lot and updated me (badly) on distance and elevations, earning himself the title, "Data".

Catching up with "Mersey" on the moors

Went off on my own on the next bit.  Just as I was getting low on energy a bat flew into my throat. That got the adrenaline going.

7- 286km OH MY GOD I JUST RODE COAST TO COAST and NOW I AM GOING BACK! Beattock. Cool. Beattock is a summit pass  on the M74. That explains why I have been feeling like I was riding uphill all the time.

Moorland and floral displays

8- 324km When will this headwind end? What shall I get from McDonald's? I acquire James, a South African whose mate just dropped out into a B&B. Rich goes back to find Esmond who got lost leaving Gretna services. James is much faster but is using me as a pacer and a brain as he isn't local and is tired from nursing his mate around all day. He disappears as soon as the Arrivee is next control.

By 3am I had reverted to singing 90's pop as a deterrent to snoozles.

9-340km Moffatt then here comes the sun doobe doobe. Where has my tail wind gone? I deserve a fucking tail wind! These boys are nice but why do I feel like their mum? Now I wish they would stop talking because I have no more answers. How did I not just crash? I was cycling in my sleep.  The guys switch back and forth between getting on my nerves and saving my life by keeping me awake with chatter until they stop for a team puke! (not really but it's what it looked like to me).

407km Arrivee - I must be good at this as I have not been sick yet. Why do Mc Donalds not do salad at 7am? How can I be so hot and shivering cold at once?

How's it feel now?
Lots of sleeping. Now re-caffeinating as have withdrawl. Last coffee was 3am in Johnstonebridge.

Was the weather good? Almost perfect in the day (20C max) except headwinds on top though nowt compared to Ireland so I just had to listen to everyone else grumble. An offshore thunder storm in Gretna caused showers which cooled the climb till sunrise.

Any aches and pains? Just knees and very fatigued in general. Backside pain rating at 6/10 where TAW was 9/10. I need to flatten the saddle a little for improvements but couldn't face the faff last night.

Richard made more use of the tiny pot of Irish sudocreme than I did!

Other new friends included Amanda and her husband / partner - PBP veterans on various bikes including solo and tandem (in different years). A 60yr old riding the roadie version of my bike - present to himself. Quite frankly behind the times with this, "buying your retirement" stuff.  A couple from Sheffield, with whom Fitz is a mutual friend so they dot watched us on TAW!

Conclusions:  Brilliant, looking forwards to 600 now.  PBP on the cards.