Stolen partly from Skier BC magazine.

The best of 100 great things about the ski season (with translations for non-skiers)

The regulars: Beer, Powder snow, Tunes, Big scary naked mountains, the word “Woo!”

The singles lane – where individual skiers make up the gooseberry on a chair lift, making faster progress down the lift line than nimpys who only want to ride the lift with their partner / buddy / foxy instructor.

Free Tissues at the lift line – A toadally Canadian phenomenon

The Under-Rater – The member of any possee who inspires the others to scare the living shit out of themselves. (You know who you are).

Flapping jackets – Forget your fancy heart rate monitor and altimeter, this is the undeniable indicator of how much it’s gonna hurt when you wipe out.

Tree skiing – shelter from the weather and the hoards, a natural line of gates, great crashes, impressive injuries.

#44 is Europe. Leading me to dream of a resort Shangri-La where the mountains are massive and European and the culture is… well, you know… but the lifties are all Canadian and Australian or at least have Canadian and Australian guest-service skills. Of course, all my friends would be able to get there easily too. Heaven. Sigh.

Ski Patrol – Ski, uniform, life-saver. What more can you ask for in a man?

Threadbare piste maps – 6’ Tall boards with trail maps on. They tend to get worn by people pointing with the tip of their ski pole. Who needs a “You are here” sticker?

Spring skiing – Nothing says “party” like it.

Corduroy runs – Where the piste groomer has prepped the snow surface leaving long downhill ridges in the snow about 1” deep. No matter how crap you are at skiing, corduroy runs are like speaking French after half a bottle of wine. Instant expertise.

Racoon tan – The facial version of tan-lines. Incurred by wearing ski goggles on a sunny day. In Europe it’s known as Panda-eyes because you don’t have racoons.

Ibuprofen

Good goggles – oh the envy of being the only person in a group who can see.

Coffee shop staff who see you’re still in your ski boots and ask how your day was. This only happens in Canada because we generally don’t live in the ski resort and because in Europe they just wouldn’t ask.

Friends who scout landings for you – avoids hospital time. Cuzzes take note.

#72 was GIRLS

Roofs – for jumping off.

Hot springs. Hot tubs

Packet food – for when there’s no muscles left to keep you standing in the kitchen.

Vistas – 360 degree views that remind you why you’ve not slit your wrists yet.

Spread eagles – star-jumps on skis. Because nothing says, “I’m here, I’m in the air and I’m invincible!” like a spread-eagle. (you know who you are)

Scratching your head after taking your hat off. mMmmmMMmmmm.

New socks.

Camper trucks and sleeping bags.

Summer – makes it worth the wait. Because nothing makes you appreciate -40 like +40.

#96 was BC. What more can I say?

There was a letter in the magazine from a girlie who last year wrapped herself around a tree. Her friends (who had goaded her into running this particular line) waited patiently by her side, telling her not to move as she waited for the ski patrol to come and peel her off the snow and take her safely to hospital. She drifted in and out of conciousness with concussion. Finally, a smiling ski patroller she’d been talking to in the bar the night before looked into her eyes and said, “Hi sweetie, do you know your name?”.

She smiled back at him and said, “No, but I know yours”.

Respec! Nearly dead, but still flirtin’.