Cocky cow

Some people buckle under pressure.

Me, I walk around with a big phat smile on my face. I give everyone the time of day as much as possible and I bustle. I especially like it when I make a call and it turns out to be the right call. The plant manager is not here today. Our big machine went down. For the first two hours of the day the “supervisor” walked past the little machine and watched the guys cleaning-up. No-one said anything. Nothing got made.

After my morning chores in my department I went out to find out what was going on. I got the little machine going, set them about making all of the product we need for Alpha customer, even though we weren’t sure if their truck would be here or not.

I went down there to check it was getting done and when they stopped, I put them back on track. When they miraculously changed their minds about what to make, I put them back on track. Then a truck arrived.

The driver says, “I’m here for Kevil customer”.

We say, “You have a big truck for two loads”.

“Is that it?” he says, giving me a piece of paper with two numbers on it.

“No”, I says, “you’re here for Alpha customer too.”

My boys are still making my stuff and they called me Darlin’ because I laminated a sign for them and I say, “I know I am” and I walk away smiling because I made them laugh.

Then I shout to the maintenance supervisor to see if he needs help. My voice is so big and confident that he can’t see me because he doesn’t know where I would’ve come from.

There’s days when I like being big and I like being me.

The Christmas Dilema

There's plenty of snow so do I decorate now or wait at least until December starts?

(c) Andy Click on photo for a larger image

I call it, "Teenager in saggy pants".

(c) Andy Click on photo for a larger image

Pedal Pains

There’s a problem with riding to work. I always seem to manage it for a while then something happens and “Green” gets put away. Then months later, I dig her out again, rub her down, tart her up, give her new brakes and repair her inner tubes, charge the batteries and off we go again. So what’s happening is I run trouble-free for some time, then the glitches start to happen and then combine until something so catastrophic goes wrong, it takes me all my energy to get around to fixing the problems and all the associated swearing, breaking nails, scraped knuckles and split fingers that go with it.

Yesterday was one of those days. I did my Christmas shopping, I went to the ski hill to get my pass (and wished I’d taken my skis) and I came home and fitted my new bell… ding ding… repaired a puncture, oiled the chain, strapped the battery on and I was ready to go this morning.

Wo is me, the stream of disasters is not over because truly, so far, there has been nothing to really disable me and piss me off riding completely.

This morning it came.

I set out with a bit of a bump in my tyre. A bulge which, standing in my driveway, I put down to a kink in the inner tube and figured it would be OK until I got to work. I have learned now not to make assumptions in one’s driveway and to seek the warmth of the basement to confirm – or otherwise – the accuracy of my foolish assumptions.

As I set off up the hill, I noticed my lights were unusually bright but confirmed to myself – somehow - that I did indeed have my low beam on.

The ride was not so hard going. It was -4 degrees C but it only took me the first hill to get warm as I have a good warm-up hill. The blimp in my tire was a bit annoying but I tugged the brakes to one side to stop them catching and I could cope with the wobble.

However, precisely half way through my journey (too far to go home / potentially too far to keep going) the bump got more annoying, the tire started to rub again and it was more visible than ever. I had to stop to make sure I wasn’t tearing the tyre wall to shreds with the friction. And LO the innertube was oozing through an inch long gap. Not a hole – no – but where the tyre could no longer hang on to the rim. This could not be ignored. I got out my tyre levers but found no twist in the inner tube. All I could do was force it all back together again, pump it up to a low pressure and hope for the best – for half an hour!

I turned my lights back on only to discover that the main beam had indeed been on all this way and the battery was dead.

Pissy pissy ca ca. This was turning into a shitty ride to work. Even the snow underneath my shoes wasn’t helping as I jumped back on and gingerly tried to climb a hill without putting too much side pressure on the tyre. I was thinking of reactivating my cell phone for emergencies like this.

After a quick moment of take-the-trail / take-the-road contemplation, I rolled onto the trail and it was white over with snow. Only 1cm deep, two day old stuff with tracks in it already and a little layer of ice underneath which crustled as I rode over it. Suddenly I had to concentrate. FUN! I rode over the wooden trestle bridge very carefully and listened to the ripping sound of the ice breaking away on the wooden beams as they flexed under our weight. This is FUN.

It was OK riding in the snow without lights as the snow was bright enough to illuminate the way and I arrived at the city in the beginnings of dawn.

If I were really keen I’d go to the bikeshop at lunch and buy a new front tyre and a dynamo set, fit them, then ride home. But that’s what email and husbands are for right? For days when on n’a plus de courage.

Remember the TV programme "That's life" with Ester Ranstson (?)

Remember they used to have a bit where people send in photos of vegetables that look "human"?

Want to see what I have?

Great Canadian Adventures #6 - Coming Soon

By special request from my Uncle Tom and in honour of the fact that it is now precisely 2 years since our epic journey across this great country - Coast to Coast - I will be publishing another Great Canadian Adventure soon. When I find my diary and look up what happened next because after two years it is all such a blurr.

But for now... have you SEEN the time? I am still at work because our biggest customer has come up with a not-so-smart new idea for wrapping our loads and the incredibly expensive machine that was bought to do the job is even slower than three slow workers so I have two lines of incredibly slow workers sticking labels and wrapping plastic and I am still here making sure they put the right stickers in the right places and answer any dumb-ass questions anyone may have.

Roll on the holiday season.

I went to the bike shop last week and outside were these Retro bikes. When I rode home the next night a cute student-type chick joined the trail some distance ahead of me with a retro bike. It was the size of an adult bike but it had these huge antler handlebars like an overgrown "chopper" (no puns). She looked very retro in her cord jacket and beanie hat and I was going to pass her then take her picture, but I couldn't catch her up...

(c) Andy Click on photo for a larger image