Smug is

Riding home when everyone else is stuck because there was a crash on the motorway.

Even if it is raining

Impending doom

A week ago tomorrow I set out on my ride to work, determined to do as much hill as possible. Considering we spent Saturday climbing all over the Cotswolds and Cheltenham Scar and I ran around the village on Sunday, I rode to work via Broad Town hill then couldn't resist the Hackpen Hill climb past the white pony on the hillside and beyond to Aldbourne and Chiseldon.

I arrived at work at 10am and didn't get to my office until 10:10. Whilst 10am is legal in flexitime rules, 10:10 is officially late and to my horror, my colleagues were standing in groups, discussing the redundancy packages that had been handed out.

Rather than any quick decisions, it seems everyone is subject to abject terror for a two week period whilst the management and staff council consult on how to make the decisions that will lead to numbers of us losing our job - in my department, that's 5 people out of 15.

There's things I can't say about the process just in case anyone's reading but in a battle to ensure I still have a job in a few weeks, training has gone to the wall.

I try to stay positive, I really do but as I sit in my chair after 4 hours of searching the interweb with a dodgy nervy belly, I find it incredibly difficult to motivate myself to go out and bound around the local countryside in any way, shape or form.

I want to go back here.